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Sir, This Conference Is A Wendy’s: AAC Football Teams As Wendy’s Menu Items

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Enough of the serious, straightforward previews... time for us to bring that high-grade #content to the people.

US-POLITICS-AMFOOT-COLLEGE-CLEMSON Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images

We’ve spent all month preparing you for the 2019 college football season. We’ve taken a look at all 12 teams on USF’s schedule, and we’ve talked at length about the season we think the Bulls will have. But now it’s time for our team at The Daily Stampede dot com to ask the most important question of the year:

If every football team in the AAC was a thing on the menu at Wendy’s, what would they be?

EAST DIVISION

UCF: Baconator

They reign supreme. They’re the big marketing tool. They’re consistently good and simple. Zealous fans of Baconator on social media swear it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread and troll anyone who says otherwise. Refuses to square off with other signature burgers unless it’s a home and home. May be overhyped, but it’s very possible we’ll never know for sure.

Cincinnati: Chili

The chili at Wendy’s can be great when you get it hot and fresh. It can establish itself as the star of the show. Or it can be bland enough to make you question what’s going on inside. Either way, still tastes better than Skyline.

Temple: Frosty

A consistent performer. You can rely on the Frosty to hit its mark most of the time. If it gets too far out of its structure, though, it becomes a drippy, runny mess. Does not do well in the heat.

USF: French fries

Like football at USF, making good french fries at a fast food place should be easy. McDonald’s does it. Five Guys does it. Whataburger does it. Even places like Checkers that aren’t good at anything else make awesome fries. Somehow Wendy’s just can’t ever get their fries right. You can cover them in cheese or bacon or dip them in your Frosty, but too often they’re still soggy and undercooked. A real letdown. Hopefully they’ll figure it out one of these years.

East Carolina: Chili and Cheese Baked Potato

It’s been bad and boring for a few years, and maybe you made a mistake ordering it over the thing you ate the last time you were there... but now that there’s some chili and cheese on top, it should taste better.

UConn

(UConn left to join the Friendly’s menu.)

WEST DIVISION

Memphis: The Coke Freestyle machine

The Coke Freestyle machine is a fantastic invention. You can make so many great flavors with it. This machine should be the best thing in the restaurant. Unfortunately, you know when you put your cup under the dispenser and it’s time to make your big move, you’ll just blow it and get Cherry Coke.

Houston: Spicy Chicken Nuggets

A wild success for a few years before it went away for seemingly no reason at all. Now it’s back on the menu and looking to recapture its past glory. Pairing with Red Bull could be a disaster, or it could be a stroke of genius.

Tulane: Apple Pecan Chicken Salad

No one expects quality from a fast food salad, but Wendy’s salads are the secret weapon on the menu. They’re different, they’re a little unexpected, and they’re genuinely good. Also colorful and aesthetically pleasing. Everyone likes them.

Navy: North Pacific Cod Sandwich

Both are seasonal menu items, both are unique, both appear to be sustainable, and both are tasty and satisfying... every once in a while. If you had to eat this sandwich every week, you would probably get tired of it.

SMU: Crispy Chicken Nuggets

They’re there, and they taste pretty good, especially if you dip them in the sriracha sauce... but no one goes to Wendy’s because they really want the regular chicken nuggets. Besides, the SMU students would go to Shake Shack.

Tulsa: Junior Cheeseburger Deluxe

We don’t want to trash the Junior Cheeseburger Deluxe. It doesn’t taste bad or anything. Still, it’s small, hard to find, pretty unremarkable, and people often forget that it’s on the menu.