25 Ways UCF and MAGAs Are Exactly Alike

We were going to let this entire week go by without saying anything about C. USF is having a terrible football season, and they barely have enough healthy bodies to function as a team. Everyone accepts that the Bulls are going to get dummied today, if they can even take the field at all.

Until a certain post hit a certain website this week. They came right out and said they ripped off the idea from a post we did way back in 2013. The content wasn’t new, either. Anyone who has read TDS for the last eleven years knows we’re more than willing to criticize our own school when they don’t get it right. Hell, that other site could have researched their whole post by reading our blog! Even the “USF isn’t in South Florida hurr durr” part!

Anyway, if you want to see what a real hate week post looks like... here you go.

MAGAs: Love to claim they won things they didn’t actually win
C: I mean...

MAGAs: Entire world view is based on “owning the libs”
C: Entire world view is based on “owning the cows”

MAGAs: Leader received huge, sketchy loans to stay afloat and pay the bills
C: Leader received huge, sketchy loan to stay afloat and pay the bills

MAGAs: Ignore science and gather in crowds without masks at Sturgis and campaign rallies
C: Ignores science and gathers in crowds without masks at the lazy river and at football games

MAGAs: Make a big deal out of flashy looking buildings and hotels that are actually junk
C: Makes a big deal out of their 45,000-seat high school stadium that bounces and rusts

MAGAs: Make outrageous demands of other nations and try to bully them when they say no
C: Makes outrageous demands of other programs and tries to bully them when they say no

MAGAs: Can’t get hired anywhere else after working for the administration (but get paid ridiculous amounts of money)
C: Danny White can’t get hired anywhere else after working for C (but gets paid a ridiculous amount of money)

MAGAs: Pump up the stock market with cheap financial tricks and brag about it endlessly
C: Pumps up their W-L record with cheap scheduling tricks and brags about it endlessly

MAGAs: Cozy up to crazy religious zealots
C: Cozies up to crazy religious zealots

MAGAs: Accuse everyone of doing things they are guilty of doing themselves
C: Accused USF of trying to hire a coach who lied about having a degree (not true), when they built a statue for a coach who lied about having a degree

MAGAs: Created safe spaces for themselves like Parler, Gab, and OAN
C: Created safe spaces for themselves like KnightNews and Helwig’s website

MAGAs: Propped up by an endless supply of Internet bots and trolls
C: Propped up by an endless supply of Internet bots and trolls

MAGAs: Yell “triggered” and “snowflakes” and “rent free” until things don’t go their way, and then they whine and cry like little babies
C: Yells “triggered” and “snowflakes” and “rent free” until things don’t go their way, and then they whine and cry like little babies

MAGAs: People go out of their way not to deal with them when they get out their hats, flags, signs, etc.
C: People go out of their way not to deal with them when they get out their hats, flags, signs, etc.

MAGAs: Get financial support from fly-by-night companies like MyPillow
C: Gets financial support from fly-by-night companies like RoofClaim.com

MAGAs: Absolutely obsessed with ownership of space
C: Absolutely obsessed with ownership of space uniforms

MAGAs: Gets free PR from outrageous media shills like Jesse Roberts
C: Gets free PR from outrageous media shills like Mike Bianchi

MAGAs: Founded a total sham university that gives out worthless degrees
C: Founded a total sham university that gives out worthless degrees

MAGAs: Had an embarrassing night in Tulsa that shattered their mystique
C: Had an embarrassing night in Tulsa that shattered their mystique

MAGAs: Formerly reasonable people end up selling themselves out to try and get on their good side
C: Formerly reasonable people end up selling themselves out to try and get on their good side

MAGAs: Leader gamed the system to only pay $750 in income taxes
C: Leader gamed the system to only pay $200,000 to Ereck Plancher’s family

MAGAs: Lost power due to a series of narrow losses in battleground states
C: Lost power due to a series of narrow losses in battleground games

MAGAs: Eager to point out everyone else’s flaws while ignoring all the truly awful things they have done over the years
C: Again, see this post

And finally...

MAGAs: About to be replaced by a group of qualified, experienced, competent people — dedicated public servants who care about their fellow humans and want to make the world a better, safer, and healthier place, to the relief of everyone
C: Yeah right, this will never happen at C