DISCLAIMER: This contest is for entertainment purposes. No actual wagering is being performed.
I'm going to skip to this one right off the top. These are the picks from Andrew Porter of The UConn Blog, who was obviously in a hurry to get them in before his team's game started on Thursday night:
Here we go son ... 6 team parlay for $24:
BYU -6.5 + WVirginia -5 + Auburn -7.5 + Miami -3 + Tenn -2.5 + VTech -3.5
$1 UConn +6.5 over Pitt
$1 Buffalo +3 over Ball St.
This bet had the classic "248-1-1" signature from everyone who is way behind in this thing. So I assumed he meant to bet $248 on that parlay. Now here's the problem. This bet came through. All six teams covered, so Andrew is due a spectacular amount of fake money. But the site we use for the official lines pulled the Georgia/Auburn game because of the Cam Newton situation, and didn't post it again until later on.
Every Thursday morning I send the players an e-mail with the official lines, and their bets are due back by the time the ESPN Thursday night game starts. Whatever is in that e-mail is final and all bets default to those lines, because I can't always validate bets at the minute they're sent to me. (Like if I'm at work, I'm definitely not going to drop everything and check a gambling site -- they're probably blocked anyway.) Sometimes I'll catch them and a change can be made, but I was busy the last couple days and didn't notice what happened until Saturday, when it was obviously too late to fix it.
So here's what we've decided. Earlier in the year Casual Hoya tried to make a bet for a game without a line, and we basically treated it like a push. That's what we're going to do here. The Auburn bet is going to be backed out as if it was a push, and we're going to recalculate the bet as a five-team parlay. Andrew obviously wins a lot of money -- not as much as it if was a six-teamer, but still a huge sum that will put him far, far ahead. You'll have to check back tomorrow to see how much it is, because even I don't know exactly how much it is right now.
After the jump, I'll reveal everyone else's bets. Utah just plain killed a few of us, as you'll see.
Last week's leader, our own Ken DeCelles, was one of the people who got upended by Utah's second straight no-show. Not that it mattered. Check out this three-part parlay that totally went down the drain. 0 for 3.
150 Parlay on Oregon/Cal OVER 58.5, Michigan/Purdue OVER 61.5, and Utah -6. Seriously guys, this is just easy money.
$25 USF +3 over Louisville.
$1 Colorado +2.5 over Iowa State. This is more of a Thanks for the Memories bet for Sad Hawkins. Play me off one last time big guy. *Pours out beer*
And so, one last time, from the Shaggy Bevo message boards... SAD HAWKINS, GO.
BONUS INTERLUDE THAT WILL SEND ANYONE WHO GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL IN 1999 SCRAMBLING FOR THE MUTE BUTTON!
Last week's second-place contestant, Hoya Suxa, took the week off. (Hopefully he made it back alive from Rutgers.) So let's move on to WVUIE97 from The Smoking Musket:
$100 on Rutgers (+3) over Cuse
$155 on Utah (-6) over ND
$1 on the over 61.5 Michigan and Purdue
Kevin Meacham of The UConn Blog is back from an invigorating week off with these picks:
$150 Boise State (-34.5) over Idaho
$60 Utah (-6) over Notre Dame
$40 Rutgers and Syracuse OVER 41.5
Casual Hoya also took the week off, so on we go to Chas Rich from Pitt Blather.
I really, really hate the Big East games this week. Well, betting any of them sucks any week considering no one really knows what will happen.
What the hell, I'll toss $9 on WVU (-6) over Cincinnati. Not because I want the Mountaineers to win, but because keeping Bill Stewart around means Dave Wannstedt has company in the position of coach that makes his own fanbase feel bi-polar.
Navy has screwed with me all season, yet I keep going back for more. I don't know why. Not healthy but I'm putting $100 on the OVER of 55.5 for Central Michigan-Navy.
Nature abhors a vacuum and the ACC abhors the idea of one team running away with the division. VT is now 5-0 in whatever their division is called. That cannot stand. Put me down for $36 on North Carolina (+3.5) to beat VT. Bring back the ACC Wheel of Destiny.
On to Scott from Bearcats Blog for a rather tame set of picks. And unsuccessful, as it turns out.
I'm going big on a 6 point tease this week. $248 on Pittsburgh to a pick, Nevada to -2.5 (over Fresno State), Utah to a pick, and West Virginia to a pick
$1 on Iowa St -2.5
$1 on Maryland -1.5
Sean Keeley of Troy Nunes Is an Absolute Magician filed these picks from God knows where.
Excuse the lack of commentary, travel day...
$50 Pittsburgh -6 over UConn
$25 Syracuse -3 over Rutgers
$25 Boston College -3.5 over Duke
Chris Lane of The Nova Blog was one of the few people who has hit one of these desperation bets. He just picked a real bad week to try and catch up.
I'm back bitches.
West Virginia -6 over Cincy ($248) - Just because somebody sent me this today, and I'm scared for my life of picking against The Hill People.
UCONN +6 over Pitt ($1) - Pornstache has screwed me so far this year.
Iowa - 10 over Northwestern ($1) - Just so I don't have to see all the lines. Keepin' it simple.
You already know what Andrew did, so now it's on to the two basement Bulls... me and Toro. Let's do Toro's picks first. Since he went broke last week, he was required to do a "penance post" in order to keep playing. Here it is.
Penance? You want remorse?? Degenerates don't have remorse.
This week was the final table of the World Series of Poker. The guy who finished 5th in the Main Event, Mike Mizrachi, won over $2 million for his efforts, and about $4 million for the 2010 WSOP in total. He also had his house foreclosed on and owed the IRS $340,000 entering the event.
The winner was Canadian pro Jonathan Duhamel, who made possibly the worst call I've ever fucking seen of any player that actually knows what he's doing, because he "felt like gambling." It wasn't the worst play of the latter stages of the event, but it was for sure the worst call. His horrendous decision also got him the chip lead, which was the catalyst to winning $8.9 million.
The point is that if you truly have the gamble in your heart, no amount of bad run or streak will ever deter you from running it back if you know you have access to credit and capital. Sometimes you gotta get stuck to get unstuck. And I, my friends, don't really have that inherent degeneracy gene that it takes to borrow money to gamble. However, if you give me fake money... I'm going Nick The Greek all over your asses.
Ship me an extra dime. It's on me, you know I'm good for it.
Very well, sir. Welcome back to the game!
Now let's see how Toro proceeds to start burning through that next thousand bucks.
Three team parlay: $248
ECU +1.5 over UAB
BC vs. Duke, over 50.5
Utah -6 at Notre Dame
$1 USF +3 over Loo ah vulll. Let's do this.
$1 Colorado +2.5 over Iowa St. Dan was right, this is DIVISION ONE FOOTBALL. And that means players have pride, and want to win for themselves and their team. It's not until Jerry Jones signs them to a contract that they no longer give a crap.
Now me. Here's the thing. I figured I would do pretty badly in this contest. I'm no handicapper, and I have too many things going on to spend a lot of time perfecting my strategy. But I am way, way into the death spiral here. Even better, every time I'm ABSOLUTELY SURE that I'm making a winning pick and I start saying things like "this is a dumb line" or "I promise this pick is going to come through," everything instantly goes to shit. Here you go.
My picks are:
$249 - Two-team parlay: Arizona (-4) over USC and Utah (-6) over Notre Dame. I mean, are you kidding me? This looks like the dumbest line of the year. A pissed-off Utes team against a distracted and heavily injured Notre Dame team that lost to Tulsa two weeks ago.
$1 - USF (+3) over Louisville. Why the hell not.
Oh boy! I won 91 cents! MDWM.
Anyway, I'm now broke and I'm still deciding whether I'm going to do a penance post and keep going, or just take a knee and get this season over with before it gets any worse. Results posting Tuesday, next set of picks posting Friday since I should have plenty of time to put it all together on my way to Tampa for Thanksgiving and the USF-Pittsburgh game (not necessarily in that order).