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"Protect Your Unit" Game - Week 9 Results (Bill Stewart Done Taken All Our Fake Money Edition)

Yes, this guy helped drain our collective fake bankrolls by over $1200 on Friday night.


DISCLAIMER: These picks are for entertainment purposes only. No actual wagering is being performed, because we would all feel like how Bill Stewart looks if these were real.

Let us quickly move on to the heinous results of this past week. And befitting of Syracuse's unlikely and maybe even illogical rise to the top of the standings, it's Hoya Suxa who is leading the way after Week 9. God help us all.

God, that is horrible. I am so bad at handicapping games right now that I could have my own show on 620.

Here is your Microsoft Excel file, which includes all the picks I did not have time to log in their own post, along with the graph of doom and misery, at least for those of us plunging down the standings like the first drop on a roller coaster.

BEST BET: Casual Hoya not betting on the West Virginia-UConn debacle, and instead putting a big $248 on Auburn to cover seven points against Ole Miss, which they did easily.

WORST BET: What do you think?

MOST DEGENERATE BET: Kevin put a dollar on San Jose State -3.5 against New Mexico State, with this explanation:

Is Dick Tomey still coaching there? It's one of my rules that I throw away a $1 bet on Dick Tomey at least once per fake gambling season.

To answer your questions: No, Dick Tomey retired at the end of last season, and no, Kevin did not win this bet.