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Protect Your Unit, Week 1 Results Thread: Dodging A True Underdog Story

Oh come on, nobody took North Dakota State? Or Eastern Washington? Or Eastern Illinois?

Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODA

(DISCLAIMER: This contest is for entertainment purposes only. No actual money is being wagered.)

As we are all too aware, FCS teams won eight games against FBS teams this weekend. And despite a large number of degenerate bets being placed on longshots, only three people cashed on in the mayhem: jthoma11 had Towson ATS; LrdNorman had Southern Illinois (who lost to Illinois but covered); and one other bet, which we need to have a frank discussion about. First, our standings as of Monday (not including the FSU-Pitt game):

chuckycrater 1181.46
RyanTSmith 1116.27
ucscott 1038.27
Collin 1036.37
JLLoughren 1036.37
LrdNorman 1036.37
jthoma11 1027.73
Danj725 1026.82
TestUser 1020.46
fusionpower 1015.91
GarySJ 1009.36
SenatorGiggity 1005.82
AndrewPorter 1000
CBulls08 1000
ChrisLane 1000
usernamemissing 1000
WVUIE97 1000
andrewp 989.00
CedSaidZed 972.27
zls44 911.82
JeffNusser 900.00
leavitttown 895.46
ULismyhothotsex 876.00
iwaswrongabouthowell 849.91
jasonloughren 845.46
MikeNascarella 835.91
diddybull32 826.36

Now, about that third winning underdog bet... reader Danj725 was the only player to take McNeese State, plus the TWENTY AND A HALF POINTS USF was laying against them. And this wasn't a $1 bet, it was for $50, or 5% of the starting stack. We've got to ask you, Danj... did you see that fiasco coming? What compelled you to make that bet? Tell us. TELL US NOW. BULLS NATION IS LOOKING FOR ANSWERS.

While we wait for the waterboarding to take effect, I hereby award Danj725 the Most Degenerate Bet of the Week Award. It takes a special kind of gambler to bet against the school you support, but to bet against your own team and win by seven and a half touchdowns ATS is a level of cold rationality we should all aspire to.

I give the Randolph & Mortimer Spite Bet of the Week to RyanTSmith, for betting $1 on Fresno State because "cheering for Rutgers in any capacity felt unholy." This was after he put $70 on Rutgers. I guess we know the price of Ryan's soul now.

Our big winner this week was chuckycrater, who won $181.47 in fake money, led by a $150 bet on Alabama to cover vs. Virginia Tech. RyanTSmith also had a good week, winning $116.28 thanks to LSU and Rutgers. Nobody else gained more than $40.

On the negative side, seven players lost over $100 in fake money last week. But the Pitt-FSU game is still pending as I am writing this, so there's still time to lose more.

And because we have a fancy database now, there's all kinds of interesting queries we can run for whatever information our readers might find interesting. If you'd like to see a biggest win/loss, most popular/least popular bet, or similar feature, let me know and I can add it to the weekly results thread.

The Week 2 games should now be on the Make Picks page at, and ready for your selections. I'm still working on the parlay builder, so keep emailing those to me for now. And hey, if you want to get in on the degenerate gambling action, I will allow late signups! However, you must take Week 1 as one of your two allowed bye weeks. See rules for full details.