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Protect Your Unit Week 9 Results: Worst Episode Ever

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How did our fake gamblers do on last week's dull slate of games?

Crystal LoGiudice-USA TODAY Sports

(DISCLAIMER: This contest is for entertainment purposes only. No actual money is being wagered.)

Let's face it - last weekend's set of games wasn't too exciting. There were few highly anticipated matchups, and almost everything went as expected. The only upset of note was LSU defeating Ole Miss, and that felt more like a return to the normal pecking order.

Even unusual results were kind of expected. If Steve Harvey on Family Feud asked "which Big 12 team would give up 82 points to TCU," Texas Tech would be the #1 answer. And if he asked "which ACC school would fumble five times in its first five possessions at home on a clear day the week after an important conference win"? ...well, you'd probably say Clemson, but Pitt (who did the deed vs. Georgia Tech) would be worth at least 15 points.

This week's standings:

PLAYER TOTAL UNITS PAST WEEK
collin 1463.19 BYE
dsidwell31 1382.41 129.60
kendom 1327.10 -21.32
RyanTSmith 1297.67 98.18
jthoma11 1191.96 85.22
iwaswrongabouthowell 1105.71 28.82
ucscott 1105.62 -29.54
tacoman206 988.82 -52.11
danj725 970.15 -131.45
JimUSFSig 954.82 BYE
shadow68 922.73 BYE
ElliotMoore 901.01 -11.36
Snafu13 895.96 BYE
JasonLoughren 886.36 BYE
diddybull32 871.37 -20.45
DaGata 861.54 -63.16
chuckycrater 772.21 BYE
zls44 728.99 -33.63
LrdNorman 679.74 -250
GaryStephen 632.63 -152.73
andrewpina 471.73 -177.69
ULismyhothotsex 419.49 -187
leavitttown 147.11 -250

As you can see, the USF game did in a lot of our players. LeavittTown is down to $147.11, and must win this week to stay alive. On the plus side, DSidwell31 (hit the Alabama-Tennessee over, and the USF-Cincinnati under); RyanTSmith (Wyoming and North Carolina ATS), and JThoma11 (hit 4 of 5 bets, 3 of which won easily) all had good weeks.

Almost everyone won a share of Floyd's Money Team Most Degenerate Bet of the Week for betting on USF. All we talked about all week was how we had no idea which USF team was going to show up at Cincinnati, and almost everyone bet on the Bulls anyway.

The Randolph and Mortimer Spite Bet of the Week once again goes to disdwell31 for once again betting the three amounts in the "DSidwell Trio": USF's won-lost record, Willie Taggart's won-lost record, number of points in the over under.

This week's AAC games: Cincinnati-Tulane and Tulsa-Memphis on Friday; UCF-UConn, East Carolina-Tample, and Houston-USF on Saturday. Future member Navy hosts top ten Notre Dame.

Marquee games nationally include: Auburn-Ole Miss, which should be an SEC/national elimination game for the loser; #2 Florida State must travel to Louisville on a Thursday night; two Top 25 Pac-12 games in Utah-Arizona State and Arizona-UCLA; TCU goes to West Virginia in a surprisingly important game; and the annual Florida-Georgia game in Jacksonville ought to be good for a few laughs.