Protect Your Unit Week 3 Results

(DISCLAIMER: This contest is for entertainment purposes only. No actual money is being wagered.)

Before we get to this week’s results, I have made two additions to the official rules, to clarify situations that may arise:

13.7.2. If a game is shortened by mutual agreement of both teams, it is considered complete.

This is in response to the South Carolina State-Clemson game, where both coaches agreed to play 12-minute third and fourth quarters. It could argued that the game doesn’t count under rule 13.7, “A game called off before 55 minutes have been played is considered incomplete”, since the entire game was 54 minutes. This makes it clear that such games still count. The rule is intended for games that are shortened through external circumstances, typically weather.

There were no wagers on this game - I don’t think there were ever any lines - so it doesn’t impact this week’s results. The next new rule is:

8.4. You must bet at least one game involving a current American Athletic Conference team.

8.4.2 If a parlay wager contains at least one AAC game, it fulfills this requirement.

I added rule 8.4.2 to make it clear that a parlay wager containing at least one AAC game fulfills the requirement that you must bet at least one AAC game per week. Again, this was not an issue in anyone’s play. But it occurred to me the rule might not be clear, so I clarified it.

OK, rules lawyering is complete. On to the latest standings:

OK, you guys are good. Or, you’re a bunch of freaking homers who keep betting USF and they keep beating the spread. I’m working on some data analysis to test the latter theory.

Having said that, a lot of people cashed on on Michigan State this week: ElliottMoore, gym399, lrdnorman, ucscott, and ULhothot all had Sparty in this one. Well spotted, lads.

But the big winner was bullmartin. He hit a 3-way parlay on Michigan State, San Diego State, and USF against the spread. 100 units at 6 to 1 pays a whopping $600 in fake money. Plus he placed another $100 on the Spartans at +269 to win outright, for another $269.

You can make your own parlay wager by emailing them to me at angerthespy@gmail.com. Adding an automated parlay feature to the website has become my own personal Chinese Democracy, so I won’t promise it anymore, but I will gloat when it is delivered.

Parlays may contain 2 or 3 individual wagers, which may be spread or over/under (not money lines). 2-way parlays pay 2.6 to 1. 3-way parlays pay 6 to 1. If any bet within a parlay is a push, that bet is removed, and the remaining bets are calculated as a 2-bet parlay, or a single bet with no vigorish.

Floyd’s Money Team Degenerate Bet of the Week goes to Collin for making a healthy wager on Louisiana Tech-Texas Tech going over 80 points, and hitting it easily. Bonus points for including a Skip Holtz team in over bet, though it’s possible he was wagering that Double T would win 81-0. I also liked AndrewPina’s playing the Eastern Michigan-Charlotte game, but winning the bet matters.

The Randolph and Mortimer Spite Bet of the Week goes to BullsOnParade96 for betting 1.14 that Central Florida would lose. I can only assume that’s a dig at their won-lost record since their last FBS win, which was against USF on November 28, 2014. That also turned out to be George O’Leary’s final victory as UCF head coach. At least he went out on top, if you overlook certain details.

By the way, we encourage lobbying for these awards. If you’ve got a play you think qualifies, let me know about it in the weekly picks thread.

Week 4’s national attractions include: Clemson-Georgia Tech on a Thursday night; Wisconsin-Michigan State; Georgia-Mississippi; Florida-Tennessee; Arkansas-Texas A&M; Stanford-UCLA: Oklahoma State-Baylor; LSU-Auburn; and West Virginia-BYU.

Lots of big AAC games! We all know about FSU-USF. Houston has to go to Texas State, which could turn into their own personal 2007 FAU game if they’re not careful. SMU hosts TCU in the Iron Skillet rivalry game, while Cincinnati hosts Miami University (not “Miami of Ohio”, they hate that) in the 111th Victory Bell game.

East Carolina has yet another Group of 5 opponent in Virginia Tech. UCF travels to FIU; as I understand it, one of those teams will get a win. Syracuse travels to Connecticut to reminisce about Paul Pasqualoni. Tulane plays in-state opponent Louisiana-Lafayette; Tulsa is at Fresno State; Memphis hosts Bowling Green; Charlotte is at Temple.

Opening lines should be up by the time you read this. Happy fake gambling, y’all.