DISCLAIMER: These picks are for entertainment purposes only. No actual wagering is being performed. Especially because no one would put bad action like this in play if it was real money.
Welcome to the possibly incredibly anticlimactic stretch run of the "Protect Your Unit" Game! With Andrew holding a gigantic lead now, everyone who wants to try and catch up has been forced into wild and drastic maneuvers. All I can say is that if lightning struck once and then everyone starts doing what Andrew did, then lightning can strike again. Let's see where the fake money is flowing this week.
First up, of course, is our runaway leader, Andrew Porter from The UConn Blog, and at least he's not sitting on his lead.
I've thought long and hard about the best way to spend my new fortune on foolish bets. Eventually, the perfect idea came to me.
Three times this year I've lost $248 betting on UConn. Twice I picked them. They lost. Once I picked against them. They won. That put me $744 in the hole. With that in mind and hate in my heart:
$744 on UConn +4 over Syracuse.
$3 on Cincy -13 over Rutgers
$3 on Pitt v. USF UNDER 46
Sure it makes the contest even more lopsided, but it is the official position of this blog that we want Andrew's UConn bet to come through. Actually, check that. If he had bet the money line, then we would have made it the official position of the blog. Now we just have to hope they don't cover and also lose the game.
Speaking of beating Syracuse, here are Hoya Suxa's picks.
Shit. I have nothing else to say but "shit."
I have a choice to make: Bet in a manner that helps preserve my lead over Casual Hoya or chase down Porter. They say that discretion is the better part of valor, but I'm an idiot and I'm just going to go kamikaze on this mother.
WAGER ONE: Parlay, the first.
$278.28 on: Washington (-2), N.C. State (+2.5), Wisconsin (-4), Pittsburgh (-2.5), and Wisconsin-Michigan (OVER).
WAGER TWO: Parlay, the second.
$15.46 on: Wisconsin (-4), Arkansas (-3.5), and Virginia Tech (-2).
WAGER THREE: Parlay, the third.
$15.46 on: Wisconsin (-4), Stanford (-6.5), and Wisconsin-Michigan (OVER).
Please, God, make this work.
More shots in the dark after the jump.
Ken took time away from his intense training for the Big East Lobsterfest Challenge to send his own picks.
$248 Michigan/Wisconsin OVER 67, Stanford -6.5, Wisconsin -4, MTSU -5, Syracuse -4, NIU -15
$1 Hawaii -30 over San Jose State
$1 USF +2.5 over Pittsburgh
On to Kevin Meacham from The UConn Blog.
Here we go crazy-ass parlays, here we go (CLAP CLAP). I'm just saying fuck it to all the odds at this point:
$225 for a six-way- Penn State (-10) over Indiana, Wisconsin (-4) over Michigan, Kansas State (-2.5) over Colorado, Virginia Tech (-2) over Miami, Notre Dame (-8.5) over Army, Rutgers (+13.5) over Cincinnati
$1 USC and Oregon State OVER 58.5
$1 UConn (+155) over Syracuse
Casual Hoya decided to take a bye next week and, in their words, "regroup for a 12-team parlay next week." Yikes. Next on the countdown is WVUIE97 from The Smoking Musket.
This is gonna get ugly:
6 team parlay for $248: NC State (+2.5), Wisconsin (-4), USF (+2.5), Kansas St (-2.5), Texas A&M (+2.5), SMU (-13.5)
$1 on Purdue (+20)
$1 on Iowa (+3)
Chas Rich from Pitt Blather took a week off as well, possibly to get his head wrapped around the idea of kamikaze betting since he's been pretty consistent in only picking one game at a time. And Sean Keeley of Troy Nunes Is an Absolute Magician was busy making his way from Seattle to Syracuse and also couldn't get any picks in.
Continuing down the list, we get to Chris Lane of The Nova Blog.
Was it Meacham or Porter who hit the big one? Either way, fuck ya both! I'm going not going all $248 on a 6-teamer, but I am gonna get a little wild here.
3 team parlay ($248) Michigan +4, Louisiana-Lafayette +10 (WILDCARD BITCHES!) and Vanderbilt +9 - Why? I don't know.
$1 on Notre Dame -8.5 over Army
$1 on Boise State -30.5 over Fresno State
I mentioned that I'm just going to take a knee instead of falling further down the rabbit hole of bad action. Scott of Bearcats Blog wasn't having any of that.
You can't quit. This is a game where you run your unit down to zero like a man. If you are going to run the clock, maybe you should bet it all on the biggest underdog of the week.
My response: "Need I remind you that I already have a subzero unit... wait, let me try that again... my unit is under water... no, that's not it... I'm already broke. That's better."
Anyway, Scott's picks, and these are the last ones for the week because Toro and I are taking a pass.
248 on a 7 team parlay: Clemson -13.5, Missouri -11, N Illinois -15, Penn St -10, Stanford -6.5, Virginia Tech -2, WVU -4.5
1 on Rutgers +13 over Cincinnati
1 on USC -3.5 over Oregon State
Check back on Monday or Tuesday to see if any of these long shots paid off. Somehow I doubt it. But then again, I didn't think one of them would come in all year and obviously that was wrong.