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USF Basketball Mixology: Game 30, Louisville

By chuckycrater

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What, you thought we would go through this entire Mixology series and not use anything from the Sterling Archer playbook? Man, you all don't know us very well.
What, you thought we would go through this entire Mixology series and not use anything from the Sterling Archer playbook? Man, you all don't know us very well.

(DISCLAIMER: Enjoy responsibly, unlike the provider of today's recipe. 21 means 21. Don't drink and drive.)

Well, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out which drink we're going to use for tonight's game. But it did give me the chance to use some source material that I've been patiently waiting to work in for a few weeks now.

Today we're taking this mint julep recipe from "How To Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written", the outstanding companion book to the outstanding FX series "Archer." Available in bookstores and on Web sites everywhere, the book has five sections, providing instructions to would-be secret agents on how to spy, how to drink, how to style, how to dine, and how to women. All of these things are of course vitally important, but for Mixology purposes, let's focus on the 22 wondrous pages of actual cocktail recipes, as favored by one Sterling Archer.

So here is Archer's recipe for a mint julep, as taken from the book. We actually have to put this one after the jump, because of course Archer can't just give us a recipe.

MINT JULEP

Deceptively powerful. I once got so smashed on these at the Derby, I had sex with some huge-hatted married broad in a portable toilet. True story. Not a flattering story, just a true one.

4 to 7 fresh mint leaves
Granulated sugar, to taste
3 ounces bourbon

Muddle the mint, sugar, and a small amount of crushed ice in an old-fashioned glass. Add the bourbon and top it off with crushed ice. Garnish with a sprig of mint and serve in a silver julep cup. Or hey, you know what? While you're at it, just make two and dump it all into a plastic cup: twenty minutes from now, you're gonna be destroying someone's marriage in a fiberglass shithouse.