EMOJICAP: USF 27, Tulsa 20

We’ll keep this relatively short, because we could easily burn through 10 emojis and about 1500 words on that offensive shitshow.

Again USF’s once-vaunted offense struggled to move the ball against what had been the 129th-ranked defense in the country, according to S&P. Nate had the gory numbers on the podcast we recorded Monday night:

• 1st quarter: 21 points, 229 yards, 154 rushing yards, 11 yards per carry
• Rest of game: 6 points, 192 yards, 125 rushing yards, 4.03 yards per carry

The 4th quarter was especially bad: no points, 12 plays, only 19 total yards (excluding the kneeldown at the end), 1.58 yards per play, and a single first down.

Whatever confidence you had in either USF’s strategy or execution on offense went completely out the window during that game. Now the Bulls are going into literally their most important game in school history and we’re all just hoping they come up with a coherent game plan. It’s not a good place to be.

We’re all sick to death of #HBDive, but I do love it when Darius Tice hits the line of scrimmage on one and comes clean out the other side. He doesn’t glide through the hole, he bursts through it like a green and gold Kool-Aid Man. Tice did it again in the first quarter, racing past the bunched-up defense and out the gate for a 54-yard touchdown. It was the longest run of his career.

With 860 yards and 10 TDs on the ground, Tice has doubled his career rushing yardage and tripled his career rushing touchdowns. He’s well on pace to hit 1,000 yards rushing, along with his quarterback.

Maybe one reason the offense didn’t click was Flowers having another rough night throwing the ball. He was off on his screens and he missed Mitchell Wilcox twice on potential big plays, including one that was straight out of the Gulf Coast Offense playbook down the seam. Wilcox would have cruised to the end zone, but Flowers short-armed it. Q was mad at himself before the ball even hit the ground.

USF also had trouble getting Marquez Valdes-Scantling involved. After 16 catches for 338 yards against Houston and UConn (a school record for a two-game stretch), MVS only caught four passes for 17 yards against Tulsa.

This has been quite a year in the stands for unique USF fans. There was the joyous return of Stadium Dog at the Temple game. The USF Wizard became a thing. Someone showed up to the Cincinnati game dressed in green and gold lucha garb. Apparently there was a USF Santa at the Tulsa game. And also... JUMBOTRON FLASHER.

Whoever she was, she stunned the crowd between the first and second quarters. I can’t and won’t comment on what you all saw, but I can say that took some pretty serious hustle to:

1. Recognize she was on the big screen.
2. Decide that she wanted to flash a boob on the big screen.
3. Get it out before the video crew figures out what’s going on and cuts away.

Last year there was a streaker, this year there was a flasher... what kind of nudity are we going to see at a game next year? Actually, you know what, let’s not answer this question. Let’s move on.

In the fourth quarter after USF had STILL ANOTHER KICK BLOCKED, Tulsa defensive end Trevis Gipson got into a skirmish with Large Adult Punter. What’s up for debate is whether Gipson spit at LAP, as he claimed in the tweet below. What’s not up for debate is the world-class flop Gipson made when LAP shoved him back. (He was so angry that he even tagged Gipson in his tweet. LAP ain’t care.)

The referees were not moved by Gipson’s acting job. They awarded him no yards, and may God have mercy on his soul.

Oh boy, it’s C. week!

By the way, if you’re heading over to the rust bucket on Friday, try and get some tools inside so you can help them make emergency repairs. The life you save may be your own.