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Big XII Expansion: Can't Take You Anywhere, John Hitt

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John Hitt opens mouth, probably inserts foot again. When will he ever just shut up and play the game?

Maybe UCF should put John Hitt in the Knightro costume so he can't talk in public anymore.
Maybe UCF should put John Hitt in the Knightro costume so he can't talk in public anymore.
J. Meric/Getty Images

We have long felt, and we think most people agree, that if USF and UCF are ever going to get out of the American, they'll get out together. And if you're going to get discovered lobbying, best for it to come out that you were emailing people or making phone calls or maybe paying them a polite, respectful in-person visit. So it's probably in both schools' best interests to quietly make inroads with key Big XII figures and not come out looking like buffoo -- OH FOR GOD'S SAKE JOHN HITT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

This is the lead story on the 6:00 news on Channel 9 in Orlando. UCF president and chief insanity officer John Hitt out here waving his black and gold pom pom and stumping for his school in front of everyone. Again. (Isn't the Big XII, like, the fourth different conference they've debased themselves trying to get into?)

He's saying stuff like "I would lobby for us to get full consideration based on accurate data" when there's so much accurate data out there that no one needs to be steered away from the inaccurate data. And that they could expand the current stadium to 60,000 people within two seasons, probably because that's how long it would take to make all that new aluminum.

But if USF and UCF are a package deal, then their stupidity is our stupidity by proxy. (Although thanks for the shoutout, we guess.) And we don't think Judy Genshaft is about to get on live TV and pimp out her school to a conference that may not want them, or anyone. Get a hold of yourselves, Oviedo. For both our sakes.